With the oath I have given to the Gods
Let her see something she was blind of
Let her hear something she was deaf of
Give her the greatest might, the best of strength
The best of capabilities, the negligibility of pain
In a sacred trade of life, I said goodbye
Please take care and fulfill my wish
As my breath shortened to its last
– Goodbye 12F
I would love to say that when I was elementary. It was better for me to go and be replaced by someone better. The world will not recognize one missing children, after all. That was the state of mind of an 11 years old.
Humans are born unique to each other, but sometimes they are strikingly similar.
Height, face, features, size, everything. Are these kinds of people replaceable? I would answer yes at that time; I was replaceable after all. What would it be like if 12F has only 13 students? I asked myself that question just before I contacted Avi. From the photo above, is she replaceable? I did say yes before, but now I knew I was wrong.
It has been a dedication for me to keep living in the shadows, unseen, as if I wasn’t even present. No one really cares what I did back then. In return, I don’t care what they did either. All of them are either forgotten, or just doesn’t matter. If I would be dead the next day, no one will ever feel missing.
With the wind of change, sometimes I think back and wonder, “how could I survive alone?” The dark days are not over yet, but there is a certain tendency to… live normal; it’s the world’s design. We are social creatures and I can’t deny the fact. My dedication fades away quite quickly.
I may not be as unique as I thought when I was still a little child, but I’m confident that I am unique in some ways; the one and only. Everyone is important in some ways; this is the lesson I learned the hard way. For those who thought the same way as I did, you are irreplaceable. You are the foundation your country stood on. You are as important as the next person, your friends, your families, even your enemies.
Please live longer. It’s just how the world works. Enjoy your life as it is, the next person is enjoying theirs too no matter how difficult it is. You can do it.